I don’t know who I am

I don’t know who I am

All I know is my own name

J U L I A N A
But what does that mean?

i. J for JUSTICE

because I’m always searching for justice from the people who mistreat me.

 

ii. U for UGLINESS

because deep down inside I am ugly.

I don’t know how to talk to people and express my emotions.

even if I have a pretty face I know that the way I act is so ugly it pushes people away.

 

iii. L for LONELINESS

because even if I have someone I care about I’m still lonely.

I feel so alone that sometimes I feel like I’m a ghost.

 

iiii. I for INSECURE

because even though I’m “model perfect” I still hate my body.

I hate that I’m so skinny people compare me to sticks and skeletons.

I hate that I will never look good in a bikini and that nobody looks at me and thinks, “hey,

she’s beautiful.”

 

v. A for ATTENTION SEEKER

because I’m always looking for people’s approval.

I hope that people come up to talk to me even though I’m shy

I try to get people to notice me because I feel like nobody ever does.

 

vi. N for NOTHING

because some days I feel like I’m nothing.

that I’m worthy of nothing and nobody.

that maybe I don’t deserve anyone because some days I’m empty as a blank piece of paper.

some days it’s hard to put the words down some days I just wish I was never a writer

I wish I was nothing.

 

vii. A for ADRIFT

because I’m always drifting trying to find who I am.

I’m on a boat called life trying to find my lost soul and piece together the

parts of myself that i’ve lost.

 

I don’t know who I am

All i know is my own name

J U L I A N A
But what does that mean?

 

  • j.ds

 

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