feel

I just want to feel something/maybe I should make list of things I should do the next time I am heartbroken/I wish people could subscribe to my body and stay/but everyone tends to leave because of my bony fashion/the memories of him sink away like tangled seaweed at the bottom of the ocean/he lays at the bottom of my heart/during Sunday solitude I pray for him/even though all he ever wanted was a one night stand/

I just want to feel something/but when I think of him I feel his hands on my neck/the same hands that left invisible marks I thought I could forget/his knuckles red/from internal anger he let out onto the walls of his room/my cheeks bursting into flames/because at one moment/I thought he was everything I never knew I wanted/

he made me feel wanted/he made me feel something/and now with him gone/I feel nothing at all/like a skeleton sourcing for a body to hold onto/a stinging soul/lightning bolts rage within me/I want to unsubscribe to this pain/I want to feel something/anything else/than this

– j.ds

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