Fireflies in my eyes

They’re fireflies in my eyes and it’s hard to see  

Some days it’s hard to get out of bed, and I can’t breathe

Some days I think I’m better off in my sheets – underneath  

They’re ghosts roaming my mind, sometimes it feels like my thoughts are my defeat.  

They’re goosebumps on my skin

From the memories of the past, I hide within  

Sometimes I feel like there’s nothing left, maybe I’m just supposed to whirl through my deadly sins  

They’re sounds in my ears, whispering – saying, “you’re not good enough” or  “you’ll never win”, Some days they’re so hard to comprehend.

I don’t want to fight anymore  

I don’t even know what I’m living for  

Maybe I should be searching for my answers in a drugstore  

But I knew that’s not the kind of thing I wanted to explore.  

 

I said that months before

But I investigate the windows and think what galore  

The medicine that’s supposed to make me feel better to my core  

But I chose to soar  

I chose to fly and try  

I tried to stop looking at the people who hurt me, in the eye

I tried to put on a disguise so that maybe I wouldn’t feel like I wanted to die  

I chose to try and fly  

But still  

There’s a part of me that wants a thrill

A part of me that wants to take the screwdriver and drill

To take the past, the thoughts, the hurt, the pain, and just spill.  

They’re fireflies in my eyes and it’s hard to see  

Some days it’s hard to get out of bed, and I can’t breathe

Some days I think I’m better off in my sheets – underneath  

They’re ghosts roaming my mind, sometimes it feels like my thoughts are my defeat.  

-j.ds

 

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